There are many dating apps out there. As of September 2020, Statista says there are ten leading apps that Indians use, and if you have been on any of those, you know they are primarily catering to the cis-het population of the country. And almost all the leading ones are not Indian, don’t understand the nuances of Indians, let alone Indian queer individuals. There is a need for an app that has understanding of these nuances of lesbian dating.
Focus on Personal Appearances
The vast majority of dating apps today encourage you to focus on how someone appears rather than on who they really are. Looks are important, but who is catering to the population that wants to build some amount of trust before meeting for a date? Most lesbian women and a few others in the community who identify as demi or ace are looking for more than just a few pictures, before wanting to even swipe on a profile. For some, primary focus is on the genuineness of the profile which comes from a certain amount of trust in the space, apart from what they see in the profile.
Contrary to most gay men, lesbians look for more than mere hook-ups when they are looking for a date – they seek out a comfortable zone where they can feel emotionally comfortable as well. A study conducted in 2004 confirms that, ‘specifically, women are more likely than men to express their emotions. In addition, women work harder to develop emotional intimacy in their relationships by honest communication and the sharing of personal feelings.’
Safer online dating spaces
Lesbians have faced a breach of trust in a lot of online spaces, including social media and other online spaces. Cismen have posed as women to start inappropriate conversations with cis or trans women because, culturally, there is an element of fetishizing that cismen tend to do when it comes to women from the queer community. All this makes it so much harder for women to have a sense of trust and safety when it comes to online spaces.
A person can only build any kind of emotional intimacy when they have faith in the space and can be themselves. It has been proven that lesbians and queer women place greater emphasis on emotional intimacy and the importance of intimacy for positive sexual interactions. Even in the absence of a physical relationship or physical attraction, most lesbians would prefer an “emotional affair,” “mental affair,” or “emotional relationship” with another. Apart from lesbians, there are people in the LGBTQ community who look at building emotional relationships even before wanting to be sexual with the other person.
So, your question will be, is there an Indian lesbian dating app that can cater to all these varied needs? Yes, but first, let’s look at the ones who aren’t Indian.
10 Best Lesbian Dating Apps in India but not Indian
Here we are bringing to our readers 10 best lesbians dating apps for that are from outside India but used in India.
1. HER
By queer women, for queer women, and of queer women – that is what this lesbians dating app offers. The fact that the creators of this app are queer adds a certain air of freshness which draws most app users.
While it is open to finding dates, it also provides no pressure to hook up or find a girlfriend, which can get extremely comfortable for some users. HER app states to “introduces you to every lesbian you’ve ever wanted to meet,” is the perfect mix of dating and social media.
While it is open to finding dates, it also provides no pressure to hook up or find a girlfriend, which can get extremely comfortable for some users. HER app states to “introduces you to every lesbian you’ve ever wanted to meet,” is the perfect mix of dating and social media.
It requires a Facebook or Instagram for signup and is solely for lesbian, queer, and bisexual women and non-binary people, so you can be sure that no cismen will ever show up here. This verification process helps enumerate a certain sense of exclusivity while instilling confidence in the users. It helps users meet friends of friends through its social-media feed (which largely depends on Facebook). It is thus not surprising why HER has become so popular globally with queer women.
So, essentially, the profiles on this lesbian dating app are as genuine as the associated Facebook profiles are, and that in turn depends on the verification process employed by Facebook (or Instagram) to ensure the authenticity of the profile. The verification process is crucial for the trust-building process, whether it is the trusting the space or the profile. While there were protests against the registration process, HER doesn’t employ manual verification and predominantly depends on the date from Facebook or Instagram.
The matches and network this lesbians dating app shows depends on the Facebook or Instagram network, which might not be an ideal method for someone who is still in the closet or not wanting to be out. At AYA (As You Are), understanding these needs, the profiles are manually verified for authenticity, because one of our main focuses is to ensuring a safe space for meeting other lesbian and queer women.
The cost: HER is free to download and there are no in-app purchases.
2. FEM
The Fem logo in red on a black background is aesthetically designed. Once again, there is no catfishing here and there is a good amount of focus on safety. The app encourages users to introduce themselves by submitting a video featuring the user. The unique requirement of video cuts removes any chances of pseudo-entities in the App. It is a rather foolproof method, but at the same time, the video upload feature might not work out very well with Indians, as some of us hesitate to even upload a photo.
One can also post selfies, but a video is expected while you are using the app. Besides this unique aspect, FEM has the other usual features like most other dating apps. One can enjoy through this app is ‘privacy provided through Rooms’, rooms with fun names like “Meet Locals,” “Makeup Talk,” and “Naughty or Nice.”
The drawbacks, of course, are there which include a few technical snags that keep cropping up, does not show the location of users, and so you may often end up meeting “someone special,” but they might be too many miles away!
While at AYA (As You Are), we ensure this doesn’t happen. While matching on this Indian lesbian matchmaking app, you can choose to see profiles only in your city or add one more city to better chose the location of the people you want to talk to.
The Cost: It is a free-to-download lesbian matchmaking app, and there are no in-app purchases.
3. OKCUPID
The slogan for this dating app expresses their intention loud and clear— “Dating Deserves Better.” And they’re on the right track as they call out their tag line, because they especially target non-hetero and non-cis people. OkCupid initially was only for the cis-het people, but over the years they realized the needs of the LGBTQ community and changed their approach and made it queer friendly in 2014.
It is one of the oldest dating apps and can be trusted, which is why we see many lesbian members who feel at home. This lesbian dating app is primarily because of the focus the lesbian dating app gives to the users – the choice and control over who they could match with on the app.
Free to download, the app offers two monthly subscriptions as well: A-List Basic for six months and A-List Premium, which is again for six months. The premium memberships allow the users to boost their profiles for more matches, have more advanced search options, see every user that has viewed your profile, remove ads, and more.
OkCupid doesn’t focus much on the security aspect and does not take any steps to verify the identity of the user to ensure the authenticity of the profile.
Even if the profile has a Facebook profile linked to it, Facebook isn’t strict about verifying a profile too and we know how messy it can get for queer people on Facebook. At AYA (As You Are), understanding the need for safety, the profiles are manually verified for authenticity.
The Cost: It is both free to register and download for the basic features like messaging and matching.
4. HINGE
Hinge has been around for a while, and says it is “The Dating App designed to be Deleted”. It verifies your profile via your Facebook profile and phone number, it focuses on creating more engaging profiles, and it has been updated to accommodate all sexual and gender identities.The USP here is that it helps to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted. It announces itself as ‘The Relationship App.’ Hinge has been around for a while, but a recent very prettily created update has brought it to the top of the list of apps for young people of all sexual orientations.
It is free to download the app for basic features, and then there is Hinge’s “Preferred Membership” which gives you unlimited likes, extra filters, and more. You can buy a Preferred Membership, Roses (similar to likes), or Boosts. Each of these features does different things and costs a different price.
It has also recently added a “voice prompt” feature to add a new dimension to the dating space. “No background checks are performed,” says the app, which connects and matches you with other people by using Facebook and relying on your Facebook network. So, one needn’t worry about fake accounts et al in this zone. Hinge is as safe as Facebook is when it comes to fake profiles or cismen posing as lesbian women.
The lesbian dating app does require you to sync and import things like pictures, last names, as well as relationship status from Facebook, as a way to sieve out the real from the dupers. This keeps duper at bay but not necessarily good thing for someone who is in the closet and looking to meet other people. Hinge starts by providing only seven matches per day. Then, it uses a trick to advertise that helps the seven go up to fifteen, but only if the user can bring in more friends to use the App.
While Hinge started out as an app that shows you Facebook friends of friends, their algorithm has been getting smarter and wider—Hinge has discovered ways to help get to know the other person more deeply than any new lesbian dating app has attempted, by revealing answers to fun personality questions and detailed information like future plans, religion, ideology, virtues, and vices. All these features in this lesbian dating app most often lead to strong relationships through past appearances.
The Cost: Hinge is free to download, and the basic features you’ll need (like messaging and matching) are free. If you’d rather have unlimited matches rather than the original seven per day, you can pay extra and upgrade.
5. SCISSR
This Dating app for lesbians has an interesting logo matching to its name. This is yet another app for Lesbians (LGBTQs) which has been designed by lesbians. This Dating app for lesbians has an interesting logo matching to its name. This is yet another app for Lesbians (LGBTQs) which has been designed by lesbians. It claims to help like-minded persons to bond, who want to find love, a fun night out, or even a great conversation with This space allows one to make special connections, beyond a casual hook-up if one desires to.
The lesbian dating app aims to help like-minded persons to bond, who want to find love, a fun night out, or even a great conversation. It allows one to make special connections, beyond a casual hook-up if one wants to. It provides a variety of different filters and settings which can be used to suit one’s’ personality. There are provisions to view one’s messages, edit profile, and also send invitation to friends all the while in a comfortable territory with like-minded individuals. Scissr allows to clearly state what you’re looking for right on your profile.
6. LESLY
With the purple box against the white background, the logo looks royal. Queer dating app Swipe eases the search for love, hook-ups, or just a fun date for women and non-binary people. The staff of this App scrutinizes all registered users for authenticity, so even if you are meeting someone for the first time, it is a safe space.
7. PINKCUPID
As the name suggests, everything here is very girly. The app’s name is kept alive through its logo, which is a pink heart in a pink circle with a lighter pink background PinkCupid has millions of users from around the world.
This lesbian dating app has been operating since 2006 and has a good track record of success, along with several awesome testimonials of its hard work and vigilance towards maintaining a safe environment.
8. LEX
Lex was launched in November 2019 but was previously operated through Instagram.
This lesbian dating app uses a conventional way of introducing members—it advertises like those old-school newspaper personal ads. Lex allows its members to express and define themselves in any language that they are comfortable with. It is also a good place for trans lesbians. Besides, the cis women and non-binary lesbian folks that use it are also very respectful, kind, and fun to chat with.
9. ZOE
Zoe provides a free space for a year, social networking, and e-dating for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women around the world. Once again, this lesbian dating app also uses the ‘swipe’ method through which the user can either ‘like’ or ‘pass’, just based on appearances. If it is ‘like’ from both ends the partners can immediately get onto chatting and dating.
This app also needs you to link your Zoe profile to Facebook to ensure profiles are genuine, which somewhere seems to be a drawback for Indian queer people who are not out. At AYA (As You Are), because the profiles are manually verified for authenticity, there space to maintain confidentiality and safety at the same time.
10. KINKO
As the name suggests the app is open for all women out there interested in ‘kinky’. It is just to add fun while you are there with no insults intended. It instead encourages members with a certain bit of kinkiness, and even asks for ‘your list of kinks’. It helps you with the type of connection you are looking for while using this app.
Feel at Home with AYA
While most Indian lesbian women and queer women have been visiting the Apps mentioned above, there is a piece of good news for all of you out there. There is a home-grown queer dating App — AYA (As You Are), because home is where the heart is. Launched in May 2020, it is an Indian App exclusively created to give safe space for the LGBTQIA+ community.
This App’s tagline, ‘Find your person easily, safely, and discreetly’, clearly tells you the intention of the Indian lesbian matchmaking app and the main focus is to maintain confidentiality and safety. The manual verification of profiles employed by the app makes it safer than most other lesbian dating apps out there to ensure only genuine profiles are updated on the app. Another interesting feature it offers is matchmaking. So, once you share your details, including the kind of person you are looking for, AYA (As You Are) will even matchmake for you, taking guidance from a team of psychologists.
Go ahead, browse, and download the App from the play store. Here is your chance of finding friends, chosen family and partner(s), whatever it is you are looking for!
Happy visiting AYA (As You Are).
