Contrary to what people think, many LGBTQIA+ people do get married to heterosexuals, not Bi or Pan identifying people marrying cishet people, we are here talking about someone who identifies as gay man marrying a cishet woman. This is prevalent, especially in countries such as India, where there’s pressure to conform to societal or “traditional” norms. Some people also do it because of pressure from their family or to conceal their identity from their family, friends, and colleagues.
Here’s the thing, though, many people still think that marriage should only be a union between a man and a woman. However, we know that there are LGBTQIA+ people in relationships with heterosexual people. The truth is that we live in a society that has placed more value on heterosexual union than in marriage where love is the ultimate binder.
As a result, many LGBTQIA+ people enter into relationships with heterosexual people to conform to societal expectations. Even so, one thing to remember is that even though an LGBTQIA+ person has gotten into such a relationship, this doesn’t mean they’ve given up their identity. Remember that every individual will have unique experiences where their sexuality is involved.
With this in mind, we would like to delve deeper into the topic of marriage between LGBTQIA+ and heterosexual individuals and the societal norms that often drive these unions. It will discuss the various reasons why LGBTQIA+ individuals may choose to enter into heterosexual marriages, the implications of these choices, and how society can work towards being more accepting and understanding of all types of relationships and family structures.
Reasons Why LGBTQIA+ People Get into Heterosexual Relationships
There are many reasons why LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer) individuals may choose to enter into heterosexual relationships. Some of the most common causes include:
Societal pressure and expectations
Many LGBTQIA+ individuals feel pressure from society to conform to heterosexual norms and may enter into heterosexual relationships to fit in and avoid discrimination and marginalisation.
Lack of acceptance or understanding from family and friends
Some LGBTQIA+ individuals may enter into heterosexual relationships to gain acceptance and support from family and friends who do not understand or accept their LGBTQIA+ identity.
Internalised homophobia or transphobia
Some LGBTQIA+ individuals may have internalised negative attitudes towards their own LGBTQIA+ identity and may enter into heterosexual relationships as a way to deny or suppress their true selves.
Fear of discrimination or violence
Some LGBTQIA+ individuals may enter into heterosexual relationships to avoid the discrimination and violence often directed toward LGBTQIA+ people.
Love and attraction
Like anyone else, LGBTQIA+ individuals have their preferences and experiences of love, attraction, and intimacy with different individuals, just like a straight person could fall in love with someone of the same sex.
The Effects of LGBTQIA+ People Getting into Marriages with Heterosexual People
The effects of LGBTQIA+ individuals entering into heterosexual relationships can vary depending on the individual’s circumstances and personal experiences. Below are some challenges they might face:
· Difficulty maintaining authenticity: For some LGBTQIA+ individuals, entering a heterosexual relationship may involve hiding or suppressing their true selves, which can be emotionally and psychologically taxing.
· Increased internalised homophobia or transphobia: Entering into a heterosexual relationship may cause some LGBTQIA+ individuals to internalise negative attitudes towards their LGBTQIA+ identity, leading to increased feelings of shame, guilt, or self-hatred.
· Difficulty forming healthy relationships: Some LGBTQIA+ individuals may struggle to establish healthy and fulfilling relationships with partners who do not fully accept or understand their LGBTQIA+ identity.
· Difficulty leaving unhealthy relationships: LGBTQIA+ individuals may face additional challenges in leaving relationships that are not healthy or fulfilling due to societal pressure, discrimination, and a lack of support.
· Difficulty finding acceptance and support: LGBTQIA+ individuals in heterosexual relationships may have difficulty finding acceptance and support from LGBTQIA+ communities and allies.
· Psychological distress: Research has shown that people who identify as LGBTQIA+ and are in heterosexual relationships may experience more psychological pain than those in same-sex relationships or those who identify as heterosexual.
