Am I a Lesbian? 10 Signs to Know if You’re a Lesbian Or Sexually Curious.

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Am I a lesbian? There’s usually one very obvious answer to your question if you’re wondering whether you’re a lesbian: you are a woman attracted to women and have physical intimacy or sex with them. However, this single answer has the potential of undermining or ignoring someone’s personal journey of self-exploration. 

Not every single lesbian woman woke up and knew straight away that they were lesbian. Being lesbian includes a process or a journey that begins with letting go of familial as well as societal expectations. It also involves figuring out what you like and love and being aware of yourself.

So, how do I know if I’m a lesbian or simply sexually curious? Read on to discover how to tell.

What is a Lesbian?

At a glance, the definition of a lesbian seems pretty straightforward. Ask anyone you know, and they’re likely to tell you that a lesbian is a woman whose physical, sexual and/or romantic attraction is to other women. However, the definition of the term can be something more than that and there are people who would say the term lesbian refers to anyone that doesn’t refer to themselves as a man (a non-man), and is physically, sexually, and emotionally attracted to other non-men..

The term “lesbian” is used to describe female homosexuality and can also refer to a woman who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Lesbians can have a variety of relationships with other women, including romantic, sexual, or just platonic. It’s important to remember that sexual orientation and gender identity are deeply personal and can be complex, and everyone deserves respect and understanding.

So, if you’re asking “am I a lesbian,” the definitions we gave above can help clear some issues and give a more gender-inclusive meaning of the term.

Top 10 Signs to Know Whether You’re a Lesbian

Below are 10 signs that will help you answer the question, “am I a lesbian or just confused?”

1. You’re attracted to women

Being attracted to women is usually one of the obvious signs that you might be a lesbian. But you might also be bisexual. The only way for you to find out is to explore your attractions in real life. You could be attracted to the woman you like either because you admire her and you want to be like her rather than having something intimate with her. 

2. You fantasize about women

Straight women fantasize about lesbian porn all the time. That doesn’t make them lesbians. It only means that they’re horny and curious and it’s normal because they’re human beings. But, if you keep thinking about predominantly being with another woman, you could be a lesbian.

3. You keep checking out women

Am I a lesbian if I keep checking out other women as they pass me down the street? You could be a lesbian. Acknowledging other women as you walk past them doesn’t mean anything, but turning to have a better view of their butt or their form could mean you’re a lesbian.

4. You’re comfortable hanging out around lesbians

Do you feel at home when in a group of lesbian friends? Do you feel like you want to cut your hair so you can look “butch”? This basically shows that you like lesbian culture, and the reason is that you might be one too. However, if you’re in limbo and still don’t have an answer to the question “am I a lesbian or confused,” this shouldn’t be the only indicator.

5. Men aren’t sexy

It is possible for a lesbian to think a man is attractive. But they might not think that he’s sexy. Just because you think the man is attractive doesn’t mean you want to have sex with them.

6. You have a different ending for all the romantic comedies you watch

While other people watch romantic comedies because of the promise of a happy ending, you have a different plan worked out altogether. While watching, you secretly hope that the heroine of the show leaves the guy and realizes that she’s always been in love with her best friend!

7. You’ve been questioning online and in different communities

Are you always online trying to research things like “am I a lesbian or just confused”, or “am I a lesbian,” then chances are you already know that you aren’t straight. You’re evaluating your sexual orientation, and you might just be a lesbian.

8. You have dreams and fantasies about other women

One way to figure out an answer to your question, am I a lesbian or just confused, is to find out whether you have dreams and fantasies about romantic or sexual relationships with women. If you do and have them frequently, chances are, you’re a lesbian.

9. You feel like you don’t fit in

We all feel isolated or that we don’t fit in with societal norms. However, if this is something that you’ve been struggling with for a very long time and end up feeling like a minority, especially where your feelings around attraction to women are concerned, you could be a lesbian.

10. You’ve had the ‘eureka moment’

Sometimes, all it takes is for you to acknowledge what’s been right under your nose and realize that you’ve actually been previously attracted to women. Maybe you’ve even dated men in the past, but you now realize that it’s women who’ve always held your attention.


Sexual orientation and identity are personal and can be complex. Only you can determine your sexual orientation and identity. If you’re attracted to women and have feelings for other women, it’s possible that you might identify as a lesbian. It’s also important to remember that sexual orientation can change and evolve over time, and it’s okay to explore and figure out what feels right for you.

If you’re questioning your sexual orientation or feel unsure, it can be helpful to educate yourself about various sexual orientations and talk to others who have had similar experiences. You can also seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.

There is no right or wrong way how you identify.