Dating a closeted partner in the closet truly isn’t the sweetest relationship. Things can get uneasy sometimes, but you should know that it’s not always about you. You might be thinking of breaking up with that person you love or care about just because they aren’t out yet. That is not the right choice. When you’re in love, you don’t want to be ashamed about it. You want the world to know that you’re genuinely in love, but dating someone in the closet may be a setback.
You should neither force your partner out of the closet nor give them an ultimatum. These can be stressful for them when they aren’t ready yet. Instead, you should learn how to live happily and make a meaningful relationship with them.
Below are tips to make your relationship with a partner in the closet work well for both of you.
Don’t think it’s about you
Remember that your partner wasn’t out before they met you. You might be thinking if they truly love you, or if you’re attractive enough, they should be able to show off with you. That doesn’t work for most people in the closet. You need to understand that being in the closet is not because they don’t love or find you attractive enough. It could be family reasons, personal issues, or probably they feel the time is not yet right to be out.
Avoid giving an ultimatum or making them choose between you and their family
Giving an ultimatum while dating someone in the closet isn’t the right choice. It can be difficult to make it up to you. It might be a very stressful experience when your partner is forced out.
Not everyone can open up their sexuality as gay to their family. When your partner tells you they want to remain in the closet because of their family, you should try to understand. It’s not appropriate to make them choose between you and their family. They may lose their place in the family, lose financial support, or become rejected when disclosing their sexuality to their family. Therefore, avoid mounting pressure on your partner and try to give them time.
Support your closeted partner and encourage them to get support
The best thing you can do for your partner in the closet is to support them and encourage them to get support instead of pressurizing them to do what they aren’t ready to do. You can advise your partner to try some therapy sessions with a queer affirmative therapist in your city. Let your partner know you love and care about them even though they aren’t ready to show you off to the world.
Don’t believe the world has to know about your relationship before it’s valid
It’s wrong when you think your relationship must be public, especially when your partner is still in the closet. You don’t need to flood social media with pictures and videos of you and your partner before your relationship can look real. When people know, nothing changes. You still remain who you are!
In conclusion, maintaining a relationship with a closeted partner can be rough. Patience, time, and understanding are the primary things you need to keep a meaningful relationship with the closeted partner.