If you noticed ages ago, or even recently that you’re attracted to both women and men, you’re probably bi. While you may be comfortable in your sexual identity, telling others about it may not be easy. So, assuming that you want to, how do you come out to your family, friends, and other loved ones that you’re bi?
Remember you’re not obligated to tell all and sundry about your sexual identity and if you want to keep it to yourself for a bit, it’s ok, too. When it’s time for you to come out, you will know. When you’re trying to avoid the topic or avoiding people finding out about it is when they find out. When this happens, you might want to let people know the truth if you’re in a safe environment.
Here are some tips to help you come out as bi.
- Come out to people that are part of the LGBTQ community first.
Being good at something requires that you practice. When it comes to practicing about coming out about your sexuality, who better to practice on than people who’ve been in your shoes? Try to first come out to your bi and gay friends then see how they react.
Finding acceptance with them will give you the chance to build your courage to come out with more difficult people. Additionally, this’ll allow you to come out with some privacy even though it’s not a guarantee that everyone in the LGBTQ community you tell is trustworthy. Learn from other people’s mistakes by asking them about their experiences.
- Don’t take rejection to heart
If you previously thought you were exclusively gay, you might experience some resistance from the LGBTQ community. For some people, their sexual orientation is a huge part of their identity. For them, coming out as bi after identifying as exclusively gay is akin to being a traitor. Don’t worry if such people accuse you of being “fake gay”. It is absolutely ridiculous.
- Come out for you and not for them
You’re the one that’s mostly going to be affected by your sexuality. Coming out to other people is only a means of not only communicating your reality to others, but solidifying your reality to yourself. It allows you to change your habits and make your orientation a reality. This way, you can shift from thinking, “I’m bisexual”, to “that guy is hot; that lady is hot too”.
Keep this in mind while coming out and as we said earlier, don’t take people’s reactions to your revelation about your sexuality to heart. Remember that you weren’t coming out for a reaction; you were only making known something about yourself.
- Don’t get angry at people who try to invalidate you.
You’re bound to know one or two people who will try to invalidate your sexual orientation. When they see you dating a person of the same sex, they’ll tell you you’re gay. If you’re dating someone of different sex, they’ll tell you you’re straight.
These are the kinds of people who think they have the advantage of living life in pretty little boxes. If you meet such kind of people, remember that it’s merely a reflection of how they live their life and see the world so don’t take it personally.